janeiro 30th, 2015

You’re doing it Wrong! =)

During a commercial airline flight a Naval aviator was seated next to a young mother with a baby in arms. When her baby began crying during the descent for landing, the mother began nursing her infant as discreetly as possible. The pilot pretended not to notice and, upon debarking, he gallantly offered his assistance to help with the various baby-related articles. When the young mother expressed her gratitude, he responded, “Gosh, that’s a good looking baby…and he sure was hungry!” Somewhat embarrassed, the mother explained that her pediatrician said breast feeding would help alleviate the pressure in the baby’s ears. The pilot sadly shook his head, and in true Sailor fashion exclaimed…….. And all these years I’ve been chewing gum.10947207_857377224327394_593432477220416412_n10928949_10152723836482897_212932354121945101_o

by Righetto

janeiro 29th, 2015



This letter is written to insure that management is fully aware of the seriousness of the current O-ring erosion problem in the SRM joints from an engineering standpoint. . . . If the same scenario should occur in a field joint (and it could), then it is a jump ball as to the success or failure of the joint because the secondary O-ring cannot respond to the clevis opening rate and may not be capable of pressurization. The result would be a catastrophe of the highest order – loss of human life. . . .

It is my honest and very real fear that if we do not take immediate action to dedicate a team to solve the problem with the field joint having the number one priority, then we stand in jeopardy of losing a flight along with all the launch pad facilities.

— Roger Boisjoly, Morton Thiokol, Inc.

Interoffice memo to R. K. Lund, Vice President, Engineering titled SRM O-Ring Erosion/Potential Failure Criticality, sent six months before the Challenger launch, 31 July 1985.

Roger Mark Boisjoly (April 25, 1938 – January 6, 2012) was an American mechanical engineer, fluid dynamicist and an aerodynamicist who worked for Morton Thiokol, the manufacturer of the solid rocket boosters for the Space Shuttle program.

Following the announcement that the Challenger mission was confirmed for January 28, 1986, Boisjoly and his colleagues tried to stop the flight. Temperatures were due to be down to −1 °C overnight. Boisjoly felt that this would severely compromise the safety of the O-ring, and potentially lose the flight.

The matter was discussed with Morton Thiokol managers, who agreed that the issue was serious enough to recommend delaying the flight. They arranged a telephone conference with NASA management and gave their findings. However, after a while, the Morton Thiokol managers asked for a few minutes off the phone to discuss their final position again.

Despite the efforts of Boisjoly and others in this off-line briefing, the Morton Thiokol managers decided to advise NASA that their data was inconclusive. NASA asked if there were objections. Hearing none, the decision to fly the ill-fated STS-51L Challenger mission was made.

Boisjoly’s concerns proved correct. In the first moments after ignition, the O-rings failed completely and were burned away, resulting in the black puff of smoke visible on films of the launch. This left only a layer of aluminum oxide (a combustion product) to seal the joint. At 59 seconds after launch, buffeted by high-altitude winds, the oxide gave way. Hot gases streamed out of the joint in a visible torch-like plume that burned into the external hydrogen tank. At about 73 seconds, the adjacent SRB strut gave way and the vehicle quickly disintegrated.

Boisjoly was quite relieved when the flight lifted off, as his investigations had predicted that the SRB would explode during the initial take-off. Seventy-three seconds later he witnessed the shuttle disaster on television.

After the Shuttle disaster, Boisjoly was painfully rewarded for his foresight and playing the part of a whistle blower by releasing his reports publicly. Thiokol cut him off from space work, and he was shunned by colleagues and managers. A former friend warned him, “If you wreck this company, I’m going to put my kids on your doorstep,” Boisjoly told The Los Angeles Times in 1987.

He had headaches, double-vision and depression, he said. He yelled at his dog and his daughters and skipped church to avoid people. He filed two suits against Thiokol; both were dismissed.

He later said he was sustained by a single gesture of support. Sally Ride, the first American woman in space, hugged him after his appearance before the commission.
“She was the only one,” he said in a whisper to a Newsday reporter in 1988. “The only one.”


by Righetto

janeiro 27th, 2015

70 anos desde a libertação de Auschwitz

Hoje é Dia Internacional de Lembrança do Holocausto, marcando a passagem de 70 anos desde a libertação de Auschwitz em 1945.
Dentro dos muros de Auschwitz I e dos campos de extermínio nas proximidades Auschwitz II-Birkenau, mais de 1,1 milhão de judeus foram assassinados em câmaras de gás, trabalho forçado, fome, doença ou experimentação médica durante a ocupação nazista na Segunda Guerra Mundial.
Em 4 de setembro de 2003 – Três F-15 Eagles da Força Aérea Israelense voaram sobre a Polônia, e começaram a seguir os trilhos do trem que levam à Auschwitz-Birkenau. Cada aeronave pilotada por um filho de um sobrevivente do Holocausto, cada avião transportava a lista completa das pessoas assassinadas no interior das muralhas dos acampamentos e, mais importante, cada avião transportava uma promessa para nunca deixar que a história se repita.
À medida que as F-15 da IDF sobrevoavam o campo de concentração, o líder da formação Brig.-Gen. Amir Eshel leu a seguinte declaração no rádio:
“Nós pilotos da Força Aérea, voando nos céus acima dos campos de horrores, por sobre as cinzas dos milhões de vítimas e de seus gritos silenciosos, saudamos sua coragem e prometemos ser o escudo do povo judeu e sua nação Israel . ”
Eles não devem ser esquecidos.


Via www.Sierrahotel.net


by Righetto

janeiro 21st, 2015

Há 38 anos!

Há 38 anos atrás, 21/01/1976, o CONCORDE fazia seu primeiro voo comercial carregando passageiros.
Simultaneamente um Concorde da British Airways, o G-BOAA, decolou de Londres para o Bahrain enquanto de Paris o F-BVFA da Air France decolava para o Rio de janeiro via Dakar.
Pouca gente sabe que o Rio/Brasil teve um papel tão de destaque na era do voo supersônico de passageiros!

O British é o G-BOAA voando com um Spitfire da RAF.

O British é o G-BOAA voando com um Spitfire da RAF.

O Air France eu não tenho confirmação da matricula. Nem da data, apesar de sugerir ser década de 70 ou início de 80.

O Air France eu não tenho confirmação da matricula. Nem da data, apesar de sugerir ser década de 70 ou início de 80.

38 years ago today, 21 January 1976: The first scheduled supersonic passenger airliners, British Airways’ Concorde G-BOAA and Air France’ Concorde F-BVFA, took off simultaneously at 11:40 a.m.

G-BOAA departed London Heathrow enroute Bahrain, and F-BVFA departed Paris enroute Rio de Janero, with a stop at Dakar.

The British Airways’ flight, using call sign “Speedbird Concorde”, was crewed by Captain Norman Victor Todd, Captain Brian James Calvert and Flight Engineer John Lidiard. Chief Test Pilot Ernest Brian Trubshaw, CBE, MVO, was also aboard.

G-BOAA arrived on time at 15:20. F-BVFA, after a delay at Dakar, arrived at Rio de Janeiro at 19:00.


by Righetto

dezembro 19th, 2014

A Christmas Carol

On the night before Christmas my ship was at sea,
A big flat-top “bird farm” from the land of the free.
Cruising the ocean at “the tip of the spear”,
So everyone home could sleep sound with no fear.

Flight ops had ended hours ago,
The day crew had turned in and gone down below.
Night crew was doin’ their maintenance checks,
The aircrews and pilots were gettin’ some rest.

The cooks in the galley were fixin’ Mid-rat’s,
The Air Boss and Cap’n could finally relax.
CIC called up said something’s inbound,
Prob’ly the mail plane, a C-2 Greyhound.

Stand clear of the foul-line, one to recover,
“Angel” is airborne, to starboard he’ll hover.
Spotters see only one red blinkin’ light,
No markers on wing-tips, now somethin’ ain’t right.

All eyes are watching but no one believes,
What comes o’er the round-down, bold as you please.
Nine deer and a sleigh, no tail-hook or tires,
How does Paddles grade a trap with no wire?

A red Nomex flight-suit, of course gloves that match,
And S. Claus printed on his aviator patch.
Why, it’s old Santa Claus wearin’ goggles and leather,
With bags full of Christmas cards, presents and letters.

Don’t stand there gawkin’, froze in your tracks,
Give him a hand with unloadin’ those sacks.
The bags are all carried to the mail room below,
And after a pre-flight, Santa’s ready to go.

The cat-crew is wondering now which hold-back pin?
Santa just laughs then he’s airborne again.
We didn’t hear jingling bells from his sleigh,
Ol’ Santa was whistling Anchors Aweigh.

Off the angle-deck, over wave-caps of white,
Even without afterburners he’s soon out of sight.
We all stood there doubting what we had just seen,
But the deer left a present, smelly and green.

Over the side with all the deer turds,
Don’t want them things fod’in one of our birds.
Tho’ that night happened many long years ago,
Santa still travels to our ships on the foam.



by Righetto

dezembro 12th, 2014

Lembram do Bastard Operator From Hell?

Machine Room Operations

Recently someone called me from one of the “Out on the Floor Offices”, an ethereal place rumored to exist only in hyperspace, populated by mysterious beings called Users.

She was quite frantic. She was having trouble running a program through the computer, and her message was clear enough, although rather ill-conceived: “MY FILES ARE FULL!

I furrowed my brow, lit a smoke, and explained to her, “Really now, Miss Butterman, I don’t have time for this.” I slowly exhaled the menthol vapors as I stopped her process, crushing any hopes she may have had of ever again seeing that document she had spent three hours slaving over.

“I was typing this REALLY important letter, and it HAS to be ready in an hour… there’s all this stuff on my screen that I didn’t type… it says something about an error, should I read it to you?”

“No point. Just press return.”

“Oh my, it wants my username. Can I restart that where I left off?”

“Not a chance.” I drew another puff and tossed the phone aside. It occurred to me that if I had to hear one more of those whining complaint sessions, heads were going to roll. Where do you people GET this stuff? I’m going to tell you what’s really going on here. Now LISTEN UP. I’m not going over this a second time:

Computer The black box that does your work for you. That’s all you need to know.

Response Time Usually measured in nanoseconds; sometimes measured in calendar months. The general rule is: Shut up your complaining about response time.

Hardware See “Computer.” Again, not your concern.

Software If we want you to know, we’ll tell you about it, otherwise, leave us alone.

Network Don’t worry about it, we’ll take care of it. Use it to send mail among your half-wit selves, and don’t think we won’t read it all. What do you think we do all day? By the way , Butterman… shame about your mother’s Pancreas.

Data The general rule is: Don’t use any data files and if you find any, delete them before I find out about them. In fact, just stay off the computer. (See “Response Time”)

System Crash Don’t ever call the system manager to tell him you think the computer is down. Don’t call him to ask him when it will be up again. The more you bother him, the longer it takes.

Downtime Like I said, don’t ask

Uptime Be thankful for it, use it wisely, and get out of my face

Overtime Don’t be ridiculous.

Vacation A time during which I don’t have to put up with your sniveling. Don’t try calling. There’s no point.

Computer Room Keep out, you’re not invited. Don’t knock on the door — don’t even think about it. I broke the phone last time one of you jerks called me, and I’m not about to replace it. And keep your greasy fingers off the windows.

My Office The name says it all… it’s mine; stay out.

Your Problems The name says it all…

Deadlines The general rule is: Deadlines are not acknowledged by me; they’re not my responsibility. Go tell someone who cares.


  1. A valid reason for shutting down the system at any time.
  2. Much more important than anything any of you bozos do.
  3. Anything I choose to call “maintenance” is maintenance.

Software Upgrades Far too complex for you to comprehend. If I tell you I’m upgrading the system, just be quietly thankful. It’s for your own good, even if it does mean extensive downtime during peak hours.

Electronic Mail I delete it before it’s read, so don’t bother sending any to me.

Defaults We like them just like they are; we chose them for a reason. Don’t mess with them; consider them mandatory.

Error Messages I’m not interested. I’m going to kill your process anyway, so keep them to yourself.

Killing your Process

  1. Don’t ever ask why
  2. Beyond your control
  3. No warnings are given
  4. The highlight of my day
  5. If you call, it’s going to happen. No exceptions.

Passwords I reserve the right to change them without notice at any time. I choose them, and the more you bother me, the more degrading yours will be. (Example: BUTTERMAN: SNOTFACE)


  1. They slow down the computer
  2. They waste my time
  3. A general nuisance
  4. Worse than that, actually

Software Modifications You don’t know what you want — we’ll tell you what you want. It stays like it is. Period.

Privileges I’ve got them, you don’t need them. Enough said.

Priority Mine is higher than yours, accept it. That’s the reason my games run faster than your lousy accounting package. (See “Response Time”)

Terminals Before calling me with a terminal problem, consider this:

  1. Are you prepared to do without one for weeks?
  2. Do you REALLY want your process killed?
  3. Did you just trip over the cord again?
  4. Of course you did.

Disk Space I set the quotas, you live with them. If you need more space, check “Data Files”.

Operator I hired him and I trained him. He does what I tell him to. Usually armed; always dangerous.

Backups A good idea if I gave a shit, which of course I don’t.

Lunch The only time that calling my office won’t result in the killing of your process.

Data Security That’s your problem. I’m certainly not going to lose any sleep over it. My files are locked up tight. I feel secure.

Jiffy Length of time it takes me to resolve your problem by killing your process.

Eternity Length of time it takes me to give a shit about any problem that can’t be resolved by killing your process.


  1. It can’t be done (as far as you know)
  2. I can’t be bothered
  3. You’re starting to annoy me


  1. Couldn’t have been avoided
  2. Not my fault (as far as you know)
  3. The result of annoying me

Menus If it’s not on the menu, don’t ask for it. It’s not available. If it is on the menu, it’s probably of no use or it doesn’t work. We’re working on it (See “Eternity”).

Utilities I find them quite useful, you’ll find them quite inaccessible. Besides, they’re not on your menu, are they. What did I tell you about that?

Nuisance You.

Of course, I reserve the right to add, change, or remove anything from the above list. I’m not asking you to accept these matters without question, I’m telling you.

Now that we all know where we stand, I’m sure there’ll be no future problems. If you have any questions or comments please feel free to keep them to yourself. If you feel the need for more information, I highly recommend that you ask someone else Sincerely, The System Manager

P.S. The new disk quota of 30 blocks per user became effective yesterday. Anyone caught exceeding the quota will lose their accounts (this means you, Butterman!)


by Righetto

outubro 16th, 2014

Salmos (parte 02)

São várias as brincadeiras com o Salmo 23:4, aqui vai mais uma.

“Embora eu voe pelo Vale da Sombra da Morte, eu não temerei nenhum mal. Pois eu estou a 80.000 Pés e Subindo.”
Na entrada para a antiga base operacional do SR-71 em Kadena, Japão



“Though I Fly Through the Valley of Death, I Shall Fear No Evil. For I am at 80,000 Feet and Climbing.”
At the entrance to the old SR-71 operating base Kadena, Japan

by Righetto

setembro 5th, 2014

“What was the slowest you ever flew the Blackbird?”

10509708_766303236768127_7752360070881297182_nAs a former SR-71 pilot, and a professional keynote speaker, the question I’m most often asked is “How fast would that SR-71 fly?” I can be assured of hearing that question several times at any event I attend. It’s an interesting question, given the aircraft’s proclivity for speed, but there really isn’t one number to give, as the jet would always give you a little more speed if you wanted it to. It was common to see 35 miles a minute.

Because we flew a programmed Mach number on most missions, and never wanted to harm the plane in any way, we never let it run out to any limits of temperature or speed.. Thus, each SR-71 pilot had his own individual “high” speed that he saw at some point on some mission. I saw mine over Libya when Khadafy fired two missiles my way, and max power was in order. Let’s just say that the plane truly loved speed and effortlessly took us to Mach numbers we hadn’t previously seen.

So it was with great surprise, when at the end of one of my presentations, someone asked, “What was the slowest you ever flew the Blackbird?” This was a first. After giving it some thought, I was reminded of a story that I had never shared before, and I relayed the following.

I was flying the SR-71 out of RAF Mildenhall, England, with my back-seater, Walt Watson; we were returning from a mission over Europe and the Iron Curtain when we received a radio transmission from home base. As we scooted across Denmark in three minutes, we learned that a small RAF base in the English countryside had requested an SR-71 fly-past. The air cadet commander there was a former Blackbird pilot, and thought it would be a motivating moment for the young lads to see the mighty SR-71 perform a low approach. No problem, we were happy to do it. After a quick aerial refuelling over the North Sea, we proceeded to find the small airfield.

Walter had a myriad of sophisticated navigation equipment in the back seat, and began to vector me toward the field. Descending to subsonic speeds, we found ourselves over a densely wooded area in a slight haze. Like most former WWII British airfields, the one we were looking for had a small tower and little surrounding infrastructure. Walter told me we were close and that I should be able to see the field, but I saw nothing. Nothing but trees as far as I could see in the haze. We got a little lower, and I pulled the throttles back from 325 knots we were at. With the gear up, anything under 275 was just uncomfortable. Walt said we were practically over the field-yet; there was nothing in my windscreen. I banked the jet and started a gentle circling maneuver in hopes of picking up anything that looked like a field. Meanwhile, below, the cadet commander had taken the cadets up on the catwalk of the tower in order to get a prime view of the fly-past. It was a quiet, still day with no wind and partial gray overcast. Walter continued to give me indications that the field should be below us but in the overcast and haze, I couldn’t see it. The longer we continued to peer out the window and circle, the slower we got. With our power back, the awaiting cadets heard nothing. I must have had good instructors in my flying career, as something told me I better cross-check the gauges. As I noticed the airspeed indicator slide below 160 knots, my heart stopped and my adrenalin-filled left hand pushed two throttles full forward. At this point we weren’t really flying, but were falling in a slight bank. Just at the moment that both afterburners lit with a thunderous roar of flame (and what a joyous feeling that was) the aircraft fell into full view of the shocked observers on the tower. Shattering the still quiet of that morning, they now had 107 feet of fire-breathing titanium in their face as the plane levelled and accelerated, in full burner, on the tower side of the infield, closer than expected, maintaining what could only be described as some sort of ultimate knife-edge pass.

Quickly reaching the field boundary, we proceeded back to Mildenhall without incident. We didn’t say a word for those next 14 minutes. After landing, our commander greeted us, and we were both certain he was reaching for our wings. Instead, he heartily shook our hands and said the commander had told him it was the greatest SR-71 fly-past he had ever seen, especially how we had surprised them with such a precise maneuver that could only be described as breathtaking. He said that some of the cadet’s hats were blown off and the sight of the plan form of the plane in full afterburner dropping right in front of them was unbelievable. Walt and I both understood the concept of “breathtaking” very well that morning and sheepishly replied that they were just excited to see our low approach.

As we retired to the equipment room to change from space suits to flight suits, we just sat there-we hadn’t spoken a word since “the pass.” Finally, Walter looked at me and said, “One hundred fifty-six knots. What did you see?” Trying to find my voice, I stammered, “One hundred fifty-two.” We sat in silence for a moment. Then Walt said, “Don’t ever do that to me again!” And I never did.

A year later, Walter and I were having lunch in the Mildenhall Officer’s club, and overheard an officer talking to some cadets about an SR-71 fly-past that he had seen one day. Of course, by now the story included kids falling off the tower and screaming as the heat of the jet singed their eyebrows. Noticing our HABU patches, as we stood there with lunch trays in our hands, he asked us to verify to the cadets that such a thing had occurred. Walt just shook his head and said, “It was probably just a routine low approach; they’re pretty impressive in that plane.” Impressive indeed.

Source: www.Sierrahotel.net

Brian Shul – Retired major in the United States Air Force. He flew 212 combat missions in Viet Nam, and near the end of that war, Major Shul was brought down by enemy fire. He was so badly burned that he was given next to no chance to live. Surviving, and against flight surgeons expectations,he returned to full flight status, flying none other than the SR-71 Blackbird. —

by Righetto

julho 22nd, 2014

Aviation Clichés

Aviate, Navigate, Communicate.

Truly superior pilots are those who use their superior judgment to avoid those situations where they might have to use their superior skills.

Rule one: No matter what else happens, fly the airplane.

Flying is hours of boredom, punctuated by moments of stark terror.

Fly it until the last piece stops moving.

It’s better to be down here wishing you were up there, than up there wishing you were down here.

An airplane will probably fly a little bit overgross but it sure won’t fly without fuel.

Believe your instruments.

Think ahead of your airplane.

I’d rather be lucky than good.

The propeller is just a big fan in the front of the plane to keep the pilot cool. Want proof? Make it stop; then watch the pilot break out into a sweat.

If we are what we eat, then some pilots should eat more chicken.

I’d rather be a chicken than a turkey.

Without fuel, pilots become pedestrians.

Regards engine power: Lots is good, more is better, and too much is just enough.

If you’re ever faced with a forced landing at night, turn on the landing lights to see the landing area. If you don’t like what you see, turn ’em back off.

A checkride ought to be like a skirt, short enough to be interesting but still be long enough to cover everything.

Standard checklist philosophy requires that pilots read to each other the actions they perform every flight, and recite from memory those they need every three years.

Experience is the knowledge that enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.

(The wisdom that enables us to recognize as an undesirable old acquaintance the folly that we have already embraced. — Ambrose Bierce, The Devil’s Dictionary, 1911)

There are some flight instructors where the student is important, and there are some instructors where the instructor is important. Pick carefully.

Speed is life, altitude is life insurance.

No one has ever collided with the sky.

Lack of planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on mine.

It’s better to be down here wishing you were up there, than to be up there wishing you were down here.

One peek is worth a thousand instrument cross-checks.

Experience is a hard teacher. First comes the test, then the lesson.

Always remember you fly an airplane with your head, not your hands.

Never let an airplane take you somewhere you brain didn’t get to five minutes earlier.

If it’s red or dusty don’t touch it.

Don’t drop the aircraft in order to fly the microphone.

An airplane flies because of a principle discovered by Bernoulli, not Marconi.

Cessna pilots are always found in the wreckage with their hand around the microphone.

If you push the stick forward, the houses get bigger, if you pull the stick back they get smaller.

To go up, pull the stick back. To go down, pull the stick back harder.

Hovering is for pilots who love to fly but have no place to go.

Flying is the second greatest thrill known to man…. Landing is the first!

Every one already knows the definition of a ‘good’ landing is one from which you can walk away. But very few know the definition of a ‘great landing.’ It’s one after which you can use the airplane another time.

Definition of ‘pilot’: The first one to arrive at the scene of an aircraft accident.

The probability of survival is equal to the angle of arrival.

There are two types of tailwheel (or retractable gear) pilot, those who have ground-looped (landed gear up) and those that will.

If you’ve got time to spare, go by air.
(More time yet? Go by jet.)

IFR: I Follow Roads.

There are old pilots, and there are bold pilots, but there are no old bold pilots.

You know you’ve landed with the wheels up when it takes full power to taxi.

If you don’t gear up your brain before takeoff, you’ll probably gear up your airplane on landing.

Navy carrier pilots regards Air Force pilots:
“Flare to land, squat to pee.”

Air Force pilots regards Navy carrier pilots:
“Next time a war is decided by how well you land on a carrier, I’m sure our Navy will clean up. Until then, I’ll worry about who spends their training time flying and fighting.”

Navy pilots regards Air Force formation flying skills:
“Same way, same day.”

The three best things in life are a good landing, a good orgasm, and a good shit. A night carrier landing is one of the few opportunities to experience all three at the same time.

A kill is a kill.

He who sees first, lives longest.

Fighter pilots make movies, attack pilots make history.

In thrust I trust.

Jet noise: The sound of freedom.

I had a fighter pilot’s breakfast – two aspirin, a cup of coffee and a puke.

Those who hoot with the owls by night, should not fly with the eagles by day.

Fly with the eagles, or scratch with the chickens.

It only takes two things to fly, airspeed and money.

Forget all that stuff about thrust and drag, lift and gravity, an airplane flies because of money.

Do you see that propeller? Well, everything behind it revolves around money.

The similarity between air traffic controllers and pilots?
If a pilot screws up, the pilot dies.
If ATC screws up, the pilot dies.

The difference between a duck and a co-pilot?
The duck can fly.

I’m from the FAA, and I’m here to help.

A smooth touchdown in a simulator is as exciting as kissing your sister.

A helicopter is a collection of rotating parts going round and round and reciprocating parts going up and down – all of them trying to become random in motion.

Helicopters can’t really fly – they’re just so ugly that the earth immediately repels them.

Helicopters don’t fly. They beat the air into submission.

Chopper pilots get it up quicker.

Helicopters don’t fly, they just vibrate against the earth and the earth rejects them into the air.

Helicopters are for people who want to fly but don’t want to go anywhere.

A four-time loser: the fellow who went to Texas A&M, joined the Marines, flew helicopters, and was hired by Braniff.

It’s better to break ground and head into the wind than to break wind and head into the ground.

The owner’s guide that comes with a $500 refrigerator makes more sense than the one that comes with a $50 million airliner.

If it doesn’t work, rename it. If that doesn’t help, the new name isn’t long enough.

Federal Aviation Regulations are worded either by the most stupid lawyers in Washington, or the most brilliant.

Flying is not Nintendo. You don’t push a button and start over.

The six P’s:
Proper Preparation Prevents Piss Poor Performance.

The future in aviation is the next 30 seconds. Long term planning is an hour and a half.

Life is lead points and habit patterns.

Gravity: killer of young adults.

I’m not speeding officer — I’m just flying low.

The only thing that scares me about flying is the drive to the airport.

Young man, was that a landing or were we shot down?

Sorry folks for the hard landing. It wasn’t the pilot’s fault, and it wasn’t the plane’s fault. It was the asphalt.

Learn from the mistakes of others. You won’t live long enough to make all of them yourself.

Three things kill young pilots in Alaska – weather, weather, and weather.

Please don’t tell Mum I’m a pilot, she thinks I play piano in a whorehouse.

Pilots believe in clean living. They never drink whiskey from a dirty glass.

Never ask a man if he is a fighter pilot. If he is, he’ll let you know. If he isn’t, don’t embarrass him.

FAA Regulations forbid drinking within 8 feet of the aircraft and smoking within 50 hours of flight. Or is it the other way around?

‘Please see me at once’ memos from the Chief Pilot are distributed on Fridays after office hours.

Fly low and slow and don’t tip on the turns.

An accident investigation hearing is conducted by non-flying experts who need six months to itemize all the mistakes made by a crew in the six minutes it has to do anything.

Things which do you no good in aviation:
Altitude above you.
Runway behind you.
Fuel in the truck.
A navigator.
Half a second ago.
Approach plates in the car.
The airspeed you don’t have.

It is far better to arrive late in this world than early in the next.

You start with a bag full of luck and an empty bag of experience. The trick is to fill the bag of experience before you empty the bag of luck.

The more traffic at an airport, the better it is handled.

If man were meant to fly, God would have given him baggy, Nomex skin.

If God meant man to fly, He’d have given us bigger wallets.

If God had meant for men to fly he would have made their bones hollow and not their heads.

What’s the difference between God and pilots? God doesn’t think he’s a pilot.

Will Rogers never met a fighter pilot.

To err is human, to forgive is divine; neither of which is Air Force policy.

Flying is not dangerous; crashing is dangerous.

You can land anywhere once.

Flying is the perfect vocation for a man who wants to feel like a boy, but not for one who still is.

There are four ways to fly: the right way, the wrong way, the company way and the captain’s way. Only one counts.

A good simulator check ride is like successful surgery on a cadaver.

Asking what a pilot thinks about the FAA is like asking a fireplug what it thinks about dogs.

Crime wouldn’t pay if the FAA took it over and would go bankrupt if an airline management did.

I want to die like my grandfather did, peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming in terror like his passengers.

Trust your captain …. but keep your seatbelt securely fastened.

An airplane may disappoint a good pilot, but it won’t surprise him.

Winds aloft reports are of incomparable value – to historians.

Any pilot who relies on a terminal forecast can be sold the Brooklyn (or London) Bridge. If he relies on winds-aloft reports he can be sold Niagara Falls (or The Tower of London).

The difference between flight attendants and jet engines is that the engine usually quits whining when it gets to the gate.

The friendliest stewardesses are those on the trip home.

Out on the line, all the girls are looking for husbands and all the husbands are looking for girls.

The most nerve-wracking of airline duties: the flight engineer’s job on a proving run flown by two chief pilots.

Good judgment comes from experience and experience comes from bad judgment.

Being an airline pilot would be great if you didn’t have to go on all those trips.

Aviation is not so much a profession as it is a disease.

The nicer an airplane looks, the better it flies.

Why did God invent women when airplanes were so much fun?

Remember when sex was safe and flying was dangerous?

If it fly’s, floats, or fucks; it’s always cheaper to rent than to buy.

Renting airplanes is like renting sex: It’s difficult to arrange on short notice on Saturday, the fun things always cost more, and someone’s always looking at their watch.

Jet and piston engines work on the same principle: Suck, squeeze, bang, blow.

Modern air travel would be very enjoyable … if I could only learn to enjoy boredom, discomfort and fatigue.

You can always depend on twin engine aircraft. When the first engine quits the second will surely fly you to the scene of an accident.

The real value of twin engine aircraft is it will double your chances of engine failure.

CAUTION: Aviation may be hazardous to your wealth.

If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it; if it ain’t fixed, don’t fly it.

A mechanics favorite: It’s not a leak, its a seep.

And another: If it won’t budge force it. If it breaks, it needed replacing anyway.

If it’s ugly, it’s British; if it’s weird, it’s French; and if it’s ugly and weird, it’s Russian.

The worst day of flying still beats the best day of real work.

A male pilot is a confused soul who talks about women when he’s flying, and about flying when he’s with a woman.

About aerobatics: It’s like having sex and being in a car wreck at the same time.

New FAA motto: We’re not happy, till you’re not happy.

A grease-job landing is 50 percent luck; two in a row are entirely luck; three in a row and someone’s lying.

There are three simple rules for making a smooth landing: Unfortunately, no one knows what they are.

It’s a good landing if you can still get the doors open.

First, listen to the question the student asked, then listen to the question he didn’t ask and then figure out the question he really meant to ask.

Airspeed, altitude, or brains; you always need at least two.

A groundschool instructor understands piloting the way an astronomer understands the stars.

Every groundschool class includes one ass who, at 5 minutes before 5, asks a question requiring a 20-minute explanation.

Gravity, it’s not just a good idea, it’s the law.

The Law of Gravity is not a general rule.

You can only tie the record for flying low.

Flying at night is the same as flying in the day, except you can’t see.

It at first you don’t succeed, well, so much for skydiving.

Is that a fuel cup in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?

It is easier to cope with a single in-flight problem than a series of minor ones. Real trouble must be swallowed in small doses.

It’s no wonder England serves beer warm, Lucas manufactures most of their refrigeration equipment.

It is said that two wrongs do not make a right, but two wrights do make an aeroplane.

When starting an aviation career it is not unusual to be overwhelmed, terrified, suffer from lack of confidence and be just plain scared. As experience grows, self confidence replaces fear . . . but after a time, when you think you have seen it all, you realize your initial reactions to flying were correct.

Passengers prefer old captains and young flight attendants.

A captain with little confidence in his crew usually has little in himself.

The only soul more pitiful than a captain who cannot make up his mind is the copilot who has to fly with him.

The sharpest captains are the easiest to work with.

The only thing worse than a captain who never flew as copilot is a copilot who once was a captain.

Be nice to your first officer, he may be your captain at your next airline.

A copilot is a knothead until he spots opposite direction traffic at 12 o’clock, after which he’s a goof-off for not seeing it sooner.

A captain is two flight engineers sewn together.

Everything in the company manual – policy, warnings, instructions, the works – can be summed up to read, ‘Captain it’s your baby.’

Nothing is more optimistic than a dispatcher’s estimated time of departure.

Clocks lie; an 18-hour layover passes much quicker that an 8-hour day.

Any pilot who does not privately consider himself the best in the game is in the wrong game.

As a pilot only two bad things can happen to you and one of them will be:

  1. One day you will walk out to the aircraft knowing that it is your last flight.
  2. One day you will walk out to the airplane not knowing that it is your last flight.

It is always better to have C sub “t” greater than C sub “d”. Or more plainly, thrust should exceed drag.

Definition of a Goonie Bird pilot: A man with an interest in aviation but a basic fear of flying.

For those who don’t care, fly military air.

Without ammunition the USAF would be just another expensive flying club.

Unofficial grading standards for low level navigation:
You can’t be lost if you don’t care where you are.

Jets airplanes are just an expensive way of changing JP-4 into noise.

It’s best to keep the pointed end going forward as much as possible.

Assumption is the mother of all fuck-ups.

If assholes could fly, this place would be an airport.

The average pilot, despite the sometimes swaggering exterior, is very much capable of such feelings as love, affection, intimacy and caring. These feelings just don’t involve anyone else.

Gravity is bullshit: The Earth sucks.

It’s better to die than to look bad, but it is possible to do both.

Death is a small price to pay for looking shit hot.

Work hard, fly hard, play hard, and stay hard.

If something hasn’t broken on your helicopter, it’s about to.

Helicopters are really a bunch of parts flying in relatively close formation; all rotating around a different axis. Things work well until one of the parts breaks formation.

Flying is better than walking. Walking is better than running. Running is better than crawling. All of these however, are better than extraction by a Med-Evac helicopter, even if this is technically a form of flying.

If God had intended man to fly he would have given him enough money for a Bonanza.

If God had wanted me to fly, he would have made me flush riveted.

Two of the most dangerous things in the world are a South Georgia pulpwood truck, and a doctor in a split tail bonanza.

The three most dangerous things in aviation are a doctor in a Bonanza, two captains in a DC-9, and a flight attendant with a chipped tooth.

What do you call a pregnant flight attendant? Pilot error.

Son, you let a stew ride your lap, next thing you know she’ll want to talk on the radio. Then she’ll want to land the plane. Give a woman an inch, she’ll want the whole twelve. Thank God.

Nothing flies without fuel,
so let’s start with some coffee.

One of the beautiful things about a single piloted aircraft is the quality of the social experience.

What separates flight attendants from the lowest form of life on earth? The cockpit door.

The three most common phrases in airline aviation are “Was that for us?” “What’d he say?” and “Oh Shit!” Since computers are now involved in flying, a new one has been added: “What’s it doing now?”

If an earthquake suddenly opened a fissure in a runway that caused an accident, the NTSB would find a way to blame in on pilot error.

Tell someone you work for another airline and he’ll tell you how much better yours is.

The most sensitive mechanism in modern aviation is the shower control in a layover hotel.

If flying were the language of man, soaring would be its poetry.

You only need a glass ship to make up for the wooden pilot.

Gliding is to power flying as seduction is to rape.

Any attempt to stretch fuel is guaranteed to increase headwinds.

Any comment about how well things are going is an absolute guarantee of trouble.

A terminal forecast is a horoscope with numbers.

A thunderstorm is never as bad on the inside as it appears on the outside. It’s worse.

Below 20, boys are too rash for flying; above 25, they are too prudent.

Son, I was flying airplanes for a living when you were still in liquid form.

I give that landing a 9 . . . on the Richtor scale.

Most airline food tastes like warmed-over chicken because that’s what it is.

I hate to wake up and find my co-pilot asleep.

Everything is accomplished through teamwork until something goes wrong, then one pilot gets all the blame.

In a world in which we are all slaves to the laws of gravity, I’m proud to be counted as one of them freedom fighters. Skydive!

If it ain’t Boeing — I ain’t going.

Let’s make a 360 and get the hell out of here!?!

Don’t trust nobody and don’t do nothing dumb.

One who flies with fear encourages fate.

It’s easy to make a small fortune in aviation. You start with a large fortune.

If it doesn’t work, rename it; if that doesn’t help, the new name isn’t long enough.

Pilots are just plane people with a special air about them.

There I was at forty thousand feet when the autopilot jumped out with the only parachute on board and left me with nothing but a silk worm and a sewing kit.

There I was at 15,000 feet with nothing on the clock but the maker’s name – and that was on the back and peeling.

There I was, fog was so thick I couldn’t see the instruments. Only way I knew I was Inverted was my flying medals were in my eyes. But I knew I was really in trouble when the tower called me and told me to climb and maintain field elevation.

The RF-4E Phantom – living proof that if you put enough engine on something . . . even a brick could fly.

When the last Blackhawk helicopter goes to the boneyard, it will be on a sling under a Huey.

Flying helicopters is like masturbating. It feels good while you’re doing it, but you’re ashamed to tell anyone afterwards.

The three biggest lies in Army aviation:

  1. You’re the only crewmember available.
  2. Don’t ask me; I’m not the regular crewchief.
  3. Wait right here, Sir. The crew bus is on it’s way.

If you don’t know who the world’s greatest fighter pilot is… It ain’t you.

Better to be on the ground wishing to be in the air than in the air wishing to be on the ground.

Keep the shiny side up and the greasy side down.

Don’t forget to keep the blue side up.

When you’re sitting in the rubber raft looking up where your airplane used to be, it’s too late to check the flight plan

A fool and his money are soon flying more airplane than he can handle.

Some pilots will make an emergency out of a bad magneto check. Others, upon losing a wing, will ask for a lower altitude.

What’s the difference between a first officer and a duck?
The duck can fly.

Definition of a complex airplane: landing a taildragger on pavement with a 20 knot quartering crosswind.

When a forecaster talks about yesterday’s weather, he’s an historian; when he talks about tomorrow’s, he’s reading tea leaves.

The main thing is to take care of the main thing.

Flying the airplane is more important than radioing your plight to a person on the ground incapable of understanding it.

A thunderstorm is nature’s way of saying, “Up yours.”

Learning a little about flying is like leading a tiger by the tail — the end does not justify his means.

In the aviation business, you can’t something for nothing. But if you aren’t careful, you’ll get nothing for something.

The last thing every pilot does before leaving the aircraft after making a gear up landing is to put the gear selection lever in the ‘down’ position.

Remember, you’re always a student in an airplane.

Keep looking around; there’s always something you’ve missed.

Fuel in the tanks is limited. Gravity is forever.

Never trust a fuel gauge.

Try to keep the number of your landings equal to the number of your takeoffs.

Takeoff’s are optional. Landings are mandatory.

Work hard, fly hard, play hard, and stay hard.

Son, if you’re trying to impress me with your flying, relax. Most of the time I can’t even impress myself.

by Righetto

julho 22nd, 2014

Flight Instructor Favourites

  • You don’t know what you don’t know.
  • Much of what you think you know is incorrect.
  • Together, we must find out why you don’t know what you don’t know.
  • It is practice of the right kind that makes perfect.
  • You will never do well if you stop doing better.
  • Students never fail, only teachers do.
  • A student’s performance is not so much a reflection on the student, as it is on the instructor’s ability to teach.
  • Learning is not a straight line up… let the teacher set the standards of performance.
  • Much of learning to fly is to unlearn preconceptions and habits.
  • The way you are first taught and learn a procedure is the way you will react in an emergency. It’s important to learn right the first time.
  • Unlearning is a very necessary and difficult part of learning to fly.
  • You learn according to what you bring into the situation.
  • Being prepared for a flight saves you money by saving time.
  • Given the choice, make the safe decision.
  • If you must make a mistake, make it a new one.
  • One problem is a problem, two problems are a hazard; three problems create accidents.
  • Trusting to luck alone is not conducive to an extended flying career.
  • We progress through repeated success; we learn through our mistakes.
  • An instructors knowledge is proportional to the mistakes he’s made.
  • Good habits deteriorate over time.
  • Accidents happen when you run out of experience.
  • Self instruction is the garden that raises bad habits.
  • Our failures teach us. If you want to increase your chances of success double your failure rate.
  • … almost always. Nothing is always.
  • Luck will do for skill, but not consistently.
  • The nice thing about a mistake is the pleasure it gives others.
  • You’re only young once, but you can be immature forever.
  • Flying, like life, is full of precluded possibilities.
  • Can’t do… won’t do… shouldn’t do…
  • What you know is not as important as what you do with it.


by Righetto